I Dare You!

Those words may not mean the same thing any longer. I remember me and my friends jumping lawn chairs on our bicycles. I had an amazing record of 13 of them; however, I landed on my back and knocking the wind out of myself. I laid there on the ground, a frightened 11 year old, hyperventilating. With each gasp of air a loud horrendous noise would come out - EYUUUUUUURK! EYUUUUUUURK! EYUUUUUUURK!

There was only one reason why the kids in my neighborhood made high speed jumps from riding 30 mph down our steep road and onto a cinder block and plywood ramp. Only one reason why we strapped a big wheel to a mini-bike and cruised at high speeds sliding sideways on asphalt, barely missing parked cars. Jumps with tonka toys, snagging swing sets at a full run on a bicycle, jumping from tree to tree, 12 foot flying leaps off of swing sets… Only one reason, somebody dared us.

No one would have ever considered any of those dares had it not for the fact we all wanted to emulate one man - Evel Knievel. Evel passed away this past Friday at age 69. I’ll never forget he was interviewed by Johnny Carson (I think) and he was asked if there was a bone that he hasn’t broke yet as Johnny listed off a long list of past broken bones – knees, arms, pelvis, skull, back, etc, etc. Evel set there for a second contemplating the question and then held up his left pinky finger, and said that one.

I don’t know what he felt like at age 69 before he died from all the broken bones and damages to his body. What I do know is that trying to emulate him as a kid still makes my knees hurt when it rains on the very back side of my 30’s.

Here’s to ya’ Evel! May you jump the river Hades with your rocket powered car more successfully than you did the snake river.

The Magic Thumping Stick

I’ve learned a few important life lessons through the years. Keep the rubber side down, don’t drink the blue water, and don’t play with the house cat naked, to name a few.

One of the most difficult lessons to learn for me is looking at the simpler, low-tech solution, to a problem. I find myself constantly looking for the analysis of the systemic issue and trying to contemplate a technical architecture to best serve a root cause and solve a problem. In other words, I think too much on the simple stuff. There are times I forget that even though those that went before me solved these same issues, perhaps inefficiently, they still had a solution and it works. No time needs to be spent in contemplation for a problem that is already solved.

What brought this all to light for me was a recent experience trying to unclog a drain in my basement. It was the drain from my air conditioning system which had a plastic pipe going down to a metal drainpipe in the floor. Admittedly, all I know about air conditioning is that it feels really nice when it’s hot. I know it has a compressor, and I know it drips water..somewhere.

After investigating the problem, and removing the plastic pipe from the metal drain, it was very clear that it was completely clogged. I mean petrified, metal-like substance across the entire top of the drain. I didn’t realize that air-conditioners dripped liquid metal, but they do. I took a hammer and a large screwdriver and chiseled away for at least an hour. After an hour, all I noticed was that this drain had a metal bar welded across the middle of it. I thought to myself, “Why would someone be so stupid as to put a drain that has a metal center in it when corrosion builds up this heavily from the air conditioner? - Idiots.”

I tried fishing the pipe out, but the metal tip just would get stuck and it was about to be a permanent addition to the pipe. I went and got the industrial strength Liquid Plumber and poured full, all with no real result. I had at some point pulled up a chair next to this drain and I was sitting there frustrated as could be and I noticed a 2 foot X 2 inch wooden dow rod leaned up in a corner between a vent and the furnace, barely noticeable. I set there scratching my head, looking at this thing wondering why it was there. I hadn’t noticed it before. Out of pure frustration I pick up this stick and noticed it would fit easily into the pipe. I pick it up and pound the inside of the pipe in a very cave man-like way. “Grrrr must smash clog…grunt grunt!” I hit the pipe 3 times and it sounded like a commode flushing. A large gurgling noise came from the pipe. I pulled the stick away and the drain was completely unclogged. I thought, “Holy cow it’s a Magic Thumping Stick!”

Evidently, this stick when hitting the metal bar inside of the metal pipe vibrates the entire pipe, breaking loose the liquid metal clog causing it to flush down the pipe. Absolutely genius! This stick has been there since the house was built in the early 70’s. It’s worked perfectly ever since.

I’ve learned a very important lesson through this experience. Sometimes the most technical tools will not provide a suitable solution. If that happens, hit it with a big stick.