Speech for Advanced Toastmasters Pensacola 5/9/20
Pathways assignment – Speech about mentorship
As Mother’s Day quickly approaches – that is this coming Sunday for those of you confused on what day of the week it is due to the Corona virus – call your mom. I’d like to take the time to discuss a mentor of mine, my mom.
My mom was the oldest of five siblings and grew up quite poor in the mountains of Eastern Kentucky. She went through Elementary school in a one room schoolhouse. Because her parents both worked very hard she essentially helped raise her siblings which required her to be very responsible, very early in her life. In her teenage years she found her voice and began singing old mountain ballads and in college was asked to sing a Capello for her choir when they would travel around the region. This love of mountain folk music and her unique style of singing led to her lifelong passion where has sung at festivals for most of her life.
Tragedy fell when she was 19, she discovered she was Type 1 diabetic and would require insulin injections for the rest of her life. Not long after her father died of massive heart attack at a young age.
Soon after she would be married and leaving her home to go with her husband to Philadelphia to live as a military wife. This is where I entered into the story. My dad likes to joke that it cost $50 to have a baby at the hospital back then. He said, he had to work 2 shifts for 3 months but finally got to take me home.
Soon after my parents packed all their belongings into a VW Beetle, and moved to Oceanside, CA when my Dad was transferred. Dad had one more transfer soon after, to Vietnam. Mom and I then lived back in Kentucky near her parents until Dad returned.
When Dad returned, we moved to Russell, Kentucky and family life when on a normal course from there. My mom ventured into real estate. She battled with the ‘good ole boy network’, sometimes to her victory and sometimes to her lament. In the late 70’s early 80’s, women were really having a tough time being treated as equals in the workplace.
I recall once when the head broker arranged all the men realtors pictures above the women’s. I came into the office and my mom was standing on a desk rearranging them by top sales, she was like first or second I believe, but certainly on the top row. It caused a big fuss there, but she won and proudly gloated about it. I also recall many, many times, she would come home and silently cry over arguments held at work that she was treated unjustly.
The question then, is how am I, a boy then and a man now, her protégé. Well for me, that’s easy. My mom first among all things is a pillar of strength and determination. There is nothing that can stop her once she determines it is a just cause, a fight for someone weaker, or God ever forbid, someone cross her. She has led by example my whole life and has always moved forward even when I didn’t feel like it. She has overcome adversity and still completed college, raised kids, had a great career and all of which suffered daily with tiredness and all the symptoms that come with type 1 diabetes. She has since dealt with heart disease and cancer is still moving forward, albeit more slowly.
Second, my mom is ethical. I don’t mean “kind of” ethical, I mean ethical like a saint. She is deeply religious and ensured those foundations were burned into my DNA. And to her credit, even though she is uber religious she always gave me space to explore and contend with my own spiritual journey. As an adult we would, and still, have open discussions on religion and I always enjoy them because she pushes but doesn’t demand her way as right. We always both walk away more enlightened.
Not only religion, but when I speak of ethics, she always tried to instill a strong sense of empathy towards others. No matter what action was taken, it was demanded to think, how does that affect this other person, what is the impact of that decision, is someone hurting because of you? I think this has really impacted my life. Even during times when I was a less caring youth, it still circled back. Maybe to my detriment as there are so many things in my past where I just give a big “Auuughhh” as I recall how thoughtless I might have been towards someone in the past. Because of this, I do try to be a good and ethical person.
Last, and my favorite part, my mother is highly creative. As I mentioned before, my mother was a wonderful folk singer. I cannot tell you how wonderful it was to hear her sing every day for a huge portion of my life. It was a gift given to me. My mom also loves to paint, write, and garden and many other creative endeavors. I love the fact that this is instilled into me. Because of this, I continually seek and explore this side of myself and it has been my rock and stability when things were toughest in my life. It has given me immense joy and peace in my life.
I can think of no one else who has mentored me more. There have been many mentors in my life that I have served as their protégé. However, her voice is literally the voice I hear in my head of deciding right or wrong, her voice guides me to choose correctly. She is often tough to please, but always proud of her son. But no one has been more proud to have such a mentor for life as I am, in being her protégé, and her son.
