The following was a Toastmasters speech assignment which was to give a mach press briefing. In doing so, instead of doing the usual pretend corporate press briefing I saw in the news that DC comics was releasing a comic book about the marriage of Selina Kyle (Catwoman) and Bruce Wayne (Batman). Being a huge Batman fan, I decided to make my press briefing as if I were a Villan addressing the Court of Owls, a fictional ancient organization that is against Batman. The first part is the briefing followed by some fact snippets I put together to answer questions during a Q&A.
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Good evening
everyone and thank you for convening today on June 7th, 2017 for this special
congregation of the Court of Owls.
I will give a quick
summation over our current plans and then quickly get to the big news of the
day.
As you know as being
part of the Court of Owls our underlying purpose has expanded from the City of
Gotham to wider pursuits. In order to make America great again, as we
have attempted with Gotham many times, we are burning America to the ground in
order for it to rise from the ashes. The Joker, I mean the President
seems to be well on track with all of those endeavors.
Meanwhile in Gotham...
Early this morning
the Dark Knight aka Caped Crusader, aka The Batman aka Bruce Wayne, son of
deceased Thomas and Martha Wayne proposed to Selina Kyle aka Catwoman.
I know..I know. Please hold your questions to the end, here is what I know thus
far.
Last night the duo
were enjoying one of their nightly jaunts on the rooftops of Gotham.
Selina was caught off-guard when Bruce unmasked, got to one knee, and
proposed to Miss Kyle with the very same family heirloom diamond ring that Miss
Kyle had stolen on their first encounter. As she is the greatest Cat
Burglar of all time.
This information was
provided by Edward Nigma aka The Riddler who was routinely spying on the two
from the nearby Gotham Cathedral clock tower. Unfortunately, at this
time due to an electronic malfunction to The Riddler's listening device, he was
unable to hear Miss Kyle's reply to the proposal.
As you know Batman
has infiltrated the Court of Owls a couple of times in the past and was able to
cause quite a disruption in the organization. We fear that the unified
efforts between these two could cause greater difficulty to our plans for Gotham
and Operation "Make America Great Again".
There is also a
potential belief that Batman may be retiring as due to recent Flashpoint
anomalies has caused Bruce Wayne to have several days with his father Thomas who
begged Bruce not to be Batman. At this time the future is uncertain.
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- Bruce and Selina were married in an alternate universe on Earth 2 where they were killed and their daughter the Huntress is still hunting their killer(s). Since their alternate universe doppelgangers led a successful and happy marriage, we have reason to believe that this marriage will also be a unified bond and a threat to the court of owls.
- We believe this is a moment of weakness for Batman due to the recent meeting with his father and the death of Tim Drake aka Red Robin his faithful sidekick and what I believe is the fifth Robin and second to die in action.
- Batman and Selina have been toying with each other's emotions since 1940.
- Much of Batman's drive and ambition against fighting crime and injustice is fueled by his darkness caused by witnessing the death of his parents. Happiness invoked into Bruce Wayne's life could, in fact, cause him to become weaker as a crime fighter. As we saw when he had amnesia and fell into the Lazarus pit with the Joker, he did not have the motivation of the desire to be an opposable force against the forces of evil if was not driven by such darkness.
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