There are a lot of great things about Gulf Breeze, but if you have kids, undeniably one of the best is the Recreation Center we have. The sports programs for kids are just stellar. Both my kids are very involved in the programs and are in an ongoing cycle of sports year-round.
Except for Elliott this past Basketball season. He had broken his radius bone in his forearm at the end of the soccer season. In fact, it was at the celebration dinner party for his team he and his friends were wrestling on the beach and he landed wrong. This led to me taking him out of Basketball season this year which was a huge disappointment for him.
The previous baseball season was a bit rough for Elliott as well. He got into a bit of slump with his batting and pretty consistently struck out.
Now with basketball season coming to a close, his arm fully healed, I received an email for baseball registration. I signed Elliott up and thought I’d give him a leg up by finding a baseball camp and get him out of this slump and really lift his spirits.
I searched the Internet and found a camp that was starting the following week in Molina. This was great. It would be a little bit of windshield time to get the camp each weekend but it would be worth it.
I know people complain about the miles involved with travel sports. But one thing I’ve learned with my other son who is in travel soccer is that windshield time is awesome and good quality time that is hard to find at this age. They really have no choice but to sit and talk to you for the hour or so drive, whether they like it or not.
The first day of camp. Elliott went to bat and missed the first ball. The coach immediately made instant corrections to his stance, his body mechanics in his swing, and other tweaks and after the first day, he was clobbering the ball. I thought, wow, this is amazing in one day worth the price of the whole camp!! Slump be damned, this will be Elliott’s best season ever!
Thoughts danced in my head of Elliott hitting the ball over the fence in that crucial game and his team carrying him off the field on their shoulders. He would slowly grab the bill of his hat and look my way and mouth the words, “Thanks Dad!!”
Each week we drove up to Molino. We would talk the whole way there and each week his skills improved more and more. I had such great hope for him.
Then we got word that Evaluations for this season would be held the Monday after our last session at camp. This couldn’t work out any better. I felt so happy for Elliott. With a little work we had restored his confidence, removed his slump, I was the best Dad in the whole world and all was right with universe and mankind. This was sure to be a great day!
Monday came. As Monday’s go, it quickly became a chaotic mess. My son Jack would start his goalie practices on the field near the zoo at basically the same time that Elliott would be doing his evaluation. Elliott would have to go with his mother to the rec center because she wouldn’t get back from her mother’s in time to take Jack up near Gulf Breeze zoo. There just wasn’t enough time. I was going to miss the baseball evaluation. I wouldn’t be there to watch Elliott take that mighty swing, the crack of the bat that would send the baseball to the heavens, to see that reward of the smile on his face once he knew he had conquered his fears and embraced the greatness that lies within him.
I got Jack to the Soccer field and after a dozen emails on assuring the time slot would be available for him, we found out that his team manager got the time wrong and we were not supposed to be there at 5pm. Yes, that long drive through rush hour traffic, and leaving work early and going through the grief of having to miss Elliott’s evaluation was all for naught.
However, since we didn’t have to be at the soccer field, we could still make it back to the rec center by only breaking a few traffic laws. Off we went weaving through traffic, roaring into the rec center parking lot, and jogging over to the field. Just in time, he was walking up to plate in the batting cages.
Evaluations for baseball are quite a thing. They process kids through a very tight schedule. They have about an hour to hour and a half to evaluate every kid on how well they hit, field, throw and do this for hundreds of kids.
Elliott goes up to plate the pitcher throws the ball and zip, bam, right past him. The speed of the ball was much faster than at camp. I thought to myself, it’s ok Elliott, set, step, swing like your chopping wood. Nope, he looked at me and I saw it. Fear. He was nervous. He doubted himself because of the speed of the ball. I could see it in his eyes. I had talked this moment up so much, now he looked at me like he was going to disappoint me and it added to this level of anxiety. Zip, bam, the went by and hit the back of the cage. Last one, knuckles forward, chop down Elliott! The ball came in low, he ignored everything he learned and swung low and missed big.
I could see at this point my presence was making things far worse. I stepped back and he had a tough evaluation. He got to plate one more time later and struck out. His fielding was off. When I got back home Elliott had locked himself in his room and had been crying for some time. His mom didn’t know what to say to him. On my way home I thought about all the advice to say to him on what he should have changed, but when I got him to open his door, he set there just kind of fuming to himself, very stern, and angered. I grabbed him and put my arms around him and pulled him close. This boy who was trying so hard to be tough for his dad, his shoulders wilted and his head tucked into my chest and he cried and sobbed.
As I stroked his hair and could feel his body shaking as he cried his heart out, I knew how heavy this world felt to him. I knew he felt like he was being judged by a thousand other kids and of course, I also knew that this was just a perspective that wasn’t the case and that this would be just fine. The question is, how do I get him to believe that?
I spent an hour with him just talking about how we all need to face our fears in the face of anxiety, in the face of diversity. it’s tough, it really is, to adjust your mindset in the midst of everything crumbling around you or seeming too is a life skill most of us in our elder ages are still trying to achieve. I hoped that I was giving him some pearls of wisdom for his life ahead. But, I also told him that everything would be great and we would practice ourselves with fast pitches to get him used to them.
This past weekend we hit the cages and I pitched a 100 times to him. I could see he just need to adjust his focus and after a couple dozen pitches he was hitting 100% of them. Not just hitting them but absolutely demolishing them. I could see that confidence being restored pitch after pitch.
I could see this boy on his way to becoming a teen soon. Soon he won’t need my advice, or rather he won’t want it. Soon, he won’t let me hold him and protect him anymore. Soon, everything I’ve ever said and tried to get through to him will just have to be enough and he’ll need to figure out how to Step, Set, and Swing through his tough times on his own. But that’s later. For now, I don’t know how his games will go this year, but I do know, it’s going to be a great season for both of us.
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